Braindroppings: the Vengeful Norv, E-Conrad, and Does Brett Get “The Pass™?”
So many great stories going on in sports right now, it’s hard to try to focus on just one to blather on about. So, like that ADD-college kid who has unlimited scripts for Adderall but decides he’d rather be a scatterbrained mess and sell them for enough cash to buy a 4runner, let’s whirl through Duke’s braindroppings:
You DO NOT break-up with Norv Turner, he breaks up with YOU. Norv seems like a nice enough guy; hell, anyone that can be belittled by Dan Snyder and resist the temptation to Stone Cold stun him has to be a decent person. In any case, Norv’s San Diego Chargers lost to the Oakland Raiders Sunday in stunning fashion. Did you know that was the first time Norv has ever lost to a team that fired him as head coach? He’s freaking 8-1 against the Raiders and Redskins. Granted, those teams aren’t tearing up the NFL, but still: they fired him. So, Norv Turner, not-so-great playoff head coach, but one vengeful SOB if you ever fire him.
Brooks Conrad will never be welcome at the ATL Gold Club. What an awful night for that guy. Three errors in one game. Of course, some of the brighter minds have made cogent arguments as to why Conrad was really just a pawn in this breakdown, but since the Braves lost last night, Conrad’s Knoblauch-esque night will be all anyone ever remembers and not the redemption of Rick Ankiel. Sidenote: not sure if this is possible, but Ankiel’s homerun in San Francisco is one of the most underrated playoff homeruns ever. He crushed that ball and did so playing for the team that almost killed his career 11 years ago. Brooks, if you hang around long enough, you’ll get a shot at redemption too.
And that’s it for Bobby Cox. Kind of a fitting end for a guy who had three Hall of Fame starters for the better part of a decade and if for no other reason because of Jim Leyritz and a lack of a legitimate closer, managed only one World Series win. Hall of Fame manager for sure, but just saying…
Randy Moss is about to get rowdy-rowdy. There is no better wide receiver in the NFL than a pissed-off Randy Moss. The fact that he continues to backup his talk with ridiculous play-making ability makes me almost forget about Brett. Almost.
Steve Spurrier is back. For one game. I love Steve Spurrier. He was an awful, awful, professional football coach, but damn, those were the most entertaining Redskins games this century. And trying to compare Urban Meyer’s UF teams to Spurrier’s is just sacrilegious. I want to get excited about Steve being back on the big stage of the BCS, but I know there’s a loss to Florida lurking in there somewhere.
Yankee fans need to get over themselves. Brian Cashman yesterday:
What I’m communicating to our fans is they need to be prepared for a four-man rotation and that probably includes A.J. Burnett. He was a big part of why we were successful last year and he can be a big part of why we are successful this year, too. I do have confidence in him. I understand that he struggled, but that was before October. October can bring out the most competitive side of people and I know that A.J.’s got a lot of competition in him.
The emphasis there is mine. Brian Cashman seems like a pretty smart guy, so I’m trying to understand the underlying motivation behind this quote. Or, maybe some Yankee fans just need to shut-up. I was at a Yankee game a few weeks ago. Surrounded by some of the dumbest baseball fans I’ve ever encountered, I was treated to such gems as, “I don’t know why we just don’t cut Berkman. He’s useless,” “Girardi is one of those numbers managers, we need Mattingly,” and “We don’t bunt enough.” So, why is Cashman pandering to fans who are worried about the guy who pitched seven innings, gave up one run and struck out nine against the Phillies in last year’s World Series? Oh yeah, because “Petey from White Plains” thinks he’s worthless.
Brett Favre’s junk makes me sad for America. Ok, it’s not really that serious, but the whole story just makes me feel real uncomfortable on all fronts. Really, I have no interest in hearing about his private life, although it does have a car-crash aspect to it. While I feel bad for Jenn Sterger, part of me can’t help but think she’s somewhat complicit in releasing this information and is seeking some sort of stardom from it. While that certainly doesn’t condone the sexual harassment, it does make me question her motives. I feel bad that a website like Deadspin is more-closely associated with athlete genitalia than the refreshing sportswriting voice it used to provide. And Deanna Farve: breast cancer survivor, wife to a philaderer exposed on a website. Ughhhh…
Which brings me to the “Pass™.” When Sylvester Stallone made “Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot!” his popularity endured because he made “Rocky,” “Rambo,” “Cobra,” and “Lock Up.” He got the Pass™. Same thing for Al Pacino, Robert DeNiro, Denzel Washington, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Morgan Freeman, Clint Eastwood, and Samuel L. Jackson. They all get a break because their body of work/ass-kickery gives them a pass to do something asinine like “Snakes on a Plane.” On the verge of obtaining a Pass™: Matt Damon, Angelina Jolie (hey, this is an equal opportunity deal), Clive Owen, and Don Cheadle. I could discuss this all day.
So, does the same apply for athletes? Does Michael Jordan get one for dressing like this just because of the Flu Game? For now, probably. Mickey Mantle had a Pass™ so epic someone wrote a book about it. Tiger Woods? Not enough of a badass in my opinion. Same with Wayne Gretzky. Jim Brown? He invented the Pass™ for athletes. I think before 2008, Brett Favre had a viable Pass™, but through the un-retirements, the choking in big games, and now, his own Clintonian incident, his Pass™ has been revoked. May I suggest a stunning of Dan Snyder to get it back.
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