Reading Between the Headlines
- The Montreal Canadiens upset the Pittsburgh Penguins to advance to the Conference Finals.
- The Kansas City Royals fired manager Trey Hillman and replaced him with Ned Yost.
- Houston Texans linebacker Brian Cushing re-won the AP’s Defensive Rookie of the Year after a positive drug test led the AP to take a re-vote.
Cushing is the third NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year to be suspended for performance-enhancing substances in the last eight seasons, following Julius Peppers and Shawne Merriman. The equivalent to this in baseball would be if Evan Longoria, Ryan Howard and Hanley Ramirez all tested positive for PEDs. If that had come to pass Congress would be involved, columnists would have their heart medication doubled and we would all be forced to think of the children under penalty of law.
- Curt Schilling told ESPN that Stephen Strasburg could be the best pitcher in baseball when he is recalled from the minor leagues.
- The Miami Heat created a website entitled www.wewantwade.com in order to persuade the star to resign with the team.
- Toronto & Chris Bosh: Since the G-20 is coming to town, the Raptors have scrapped their Bosh campaign and are just going to give him to Philly.
- Atlanta & Joe Johnson: The Hawks have offered to re-open the “Gold Club” with new manager Patrick Ewing.
- Phoenix & Amare Stoudemire: They plan on scaring the hell out of him. Three words: Zombie Steve Nash.
- Utah & Carlos Boozer: The Jazz will create a fake max offer from Cleveland, just so he can renege on it and resign with Utah.
- San Antonio & Manu Ginobli: A lifetime membership in the Hair Club for Men and a nose job on the arm.
- Detroit Pistons & Kwame Brown: The Pistons are raising money to purchase a bus ticket to Charlotte, NC so Kwame can be reunited with the only person in the world who ever thought he’d be good at basketball: Michael Jordan.
- The farm used in the movie “Field of Dreams” is for sale.
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