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Archive for December, 2009

Its Ok, I Know You’re Upset

No, despite all appearances, Deuce of Davenport is still an active and fully functioning blog. This is just our annual end of the year break. You see, our day jobs require us to bill a certain amount of hours every year. Some years we make the hours early, most we don’t and have to scramble. With the holidays and the end of the year billing requirements, yes, the blog suffers.

Fret not though, we’ll be back and business will be as usual in the coming new year. 2010…year the Deuce blows up!

Chimp’s NFL Week 15 Pick Em

Real quick now:

Green Bay at PITTSBURGH -3
MIAMI +5 at Tennessee
New England at BUFFALO +7
ARIZONA -14 at Detroit
San Francisco at PHILADELPHIA -9
ATLANTA +5.5 at NY Jets
CHICAGO +10.5 at Baltimore
Cleveland at KANSAS CITY -1 (LOCK OF THE WEEK)
Houston at ST. LOUIS +14
CINCINNATI +7 at San Diego (UPSET SPECIAL)
Oakland at DENVER -14
Tampa Bay at SEATTLE -6.5
Minnesota at CAROLINA +9
NEW YORK GIANTS -1 at Washington

These Seem Safe


Saw this while reading the always great Cheap Seats Daily by Dave McKenna and I just had to post it here. Carpet slides? Lets take the fun of sliding on a hardwood floor and do it on carpets too! Holy hell. How in the world did these things make it to market? How many things can go wrong here? Rug burn, sprained ankles, broken legs and i’m sure something like this

If these can be on the market, might as well bring jarts back. I want my lawn darts!

Soccer Not Allowed!

Wut?

Olympic Weightlifter Lifts Weight, Drops Baby


 Elizabeth Poblete is a 22 year old Olympic weighlighter from Chilie. She is one strong woman, she can definitely lift more weight than you can that’s for sure as you can see above.  Unfortunately for Poblete, she might not be the smartest person because she apparently forgot she had sex 9 months ago and she apparently forgot to use any birth control and she apparently forgot she was supposed to have a period.  She apparently didn’t notice any of the signs of a pregnancy at all because while she was lifting weights the other day in Brazil, training for the Olympics…she gave birth to a baby boy.  Whoops!  Her bad!


Talk about a tailor made case for that TLC show “I Didn’t Know I Was Pregnant”. Yes, this is an actual show.  This is apparently such a common occurrence that there are enough women out there to fill an entire season’s worth of episodes.   Well now they have a good start to season 2.  Just for fun…watch these clueless women tell their stories of how they had no idea a being was growing inside them.



From Guardian UK

Chimp’s NFL Week 14 Pick Em

Another week, another pick em.  I must admit, its getting a little old doing the pick ems.  This week, time ran short on me and I am putting them up late.  Thats the horrible thing about working a day job and having blogging be your night gig.  If you actually go to sleep at a reasonable time of night, you don’t get much blogging done.  So, basically, blame me having to meet my hours requirement for the year on not posting.  Nevertheless, I would be remiss if I missed a week’s worth of picks.

Last week, I went 6-8, a truly disappointing number for sure.  Also went winless on the Upset Special and Lock of the Week.  Not good for my overall stats, which now stand at 98-82-2, 7-6 on the Locks and 5-8 on the Upsets.  Pretty horrible really, you could probably do just as well picking from a coin toss.  Which, the last week, I will do because everyone pretty much knows who is in and out of the playoffs, teams are resting starters ands basically a crapshoot as to who will win.
The picks this week are going to be just the picks, writing up a column takes too much time in front of a computer and after sitting in front of a computer all week making redactions on document after document…well I just need a little break from this fun little box.  Its not often I say that about fun boxes either.    Anyway, lets give you what you want, the picks. As always, all lines are from TheGreek. Hot cheerleader is Olivia from the Seattle Seahawks. Scroll to the bottom if you want to skip to the Upset Special and the Lock of the Week.*

DENVER +7 at Indianapolis
CINCINNATI +6.5 at Minnesota
NY Jets at TAMPA BAY +3.5
Buffalo at KANSAS CITY +1
New Orleans at ATLANTA +10
Detroit at BALTIMORE -13.5
Miami at JACKSONVILLE -1
Carolina at NEW ENGLAND -13
SEATTLE +6.5 at Houston
Washington at OAKLAND +1
SAN DIEGO +3 at Dallas
Philadelphia at NY Giants UNDER 44
ARIZONA -3 at San Francisco

UPSET SPECIAL OF THE WEEK
ST. LOUIS +13 at Tennessee

LOCK OF THE WEEK
GREEN BAY -3.5 at Chicago

*Deuce of Davenport is only doing this column for entertainment purposes only, you’d be a fool to actually follow any of this advice and/or these picks. We accept no responsibility for anyone actually gambling with these picks.

Tiger Woods on eHarmony

Awesome video made by the good people and friends of the Deuce at Wondershot, Tiger and Elin in an eHarmony-esque commercial.  Great for a laugh.  Check it out.

Teddy Bear Apocalypse

Those poor bears…they never had a chance.

The Next Ovechkin

This kid has one amazing trick shot up his sleeve.  He is already a greater goal scorer at 9 years old than you will ever be in your entire life…and if you are a professional hockey player reading this, it even includes you.  This is just simply, the sickest hockey goal that I have ever seen…ever.  The best reaction to it is the goalie who is like “WTF do I do against this??”  Just awesome.  Watch.

In Honor Of Tonight’s Ravens-Packers Game

Ryan Grant better watch his back.