Yesterday, not only did Chicago White Sox GM Kenny Williams win a waiver wire claim for Toronto Blue Jays OF Alex Rios costing his team $60 million, he also got ticketed for jaywalking. That is $56 out of his own pocket right there all for not trying to find a street corner before jetting across the street to Safeco Field before his team played the Mariners.

He probably just got the phone call on his cell that they had won the claim for Rios and I would’ve been running as well…to the nearest bathroom so I could puke my guts out knowing I just caused my owner to be on the hook for SIXTY FUCKING MILLION DOLLARS in the middle of a recession. I wonder if that cop is a Mariners fan and recognized Kenny? If so, well played.

From MLB.com

Death by a sudden blow to the chest, thus stopping the heart, is the cause of 43% of the deaths in Lacrosse games. That stat is 2x greather than in baseball, about 15x greater than in football, 20x greater than in soccer, and 54x greater than for softball. In other words, if you get hit in the chest by that hard little ball coming out of that stick at like 100m.p.h…you very well might die, even if you’re wearing a chest protector.

Insane huh? That is one deadly, insignificant, sport there.

Don’t believe me? Read the article here, you’ll never let children play sports ever again since it is 12 pages of the most deadly sports in high school. Shoot, you may never let them leave the house again. It might make you want to support a “Footloose” style ban on all sports. Kids in the future might be saying “I…I just wanna play!” instead of wanting to dance.

From ABCNews

Coach Snoop the Great “stay ready so he don’t got to get ready”. Check out Snoop’s presser from Ravens training camp.

Fo sheezy my neezy indeed. The Browns will probably respond by bringing in Soulja Boy to support Coach Mangina. They need another soldier to replace Kellen Winslow who’s off to a great start in Tampa. Expect more fail.

From a Deuce reader:

Man City to make GBP50m bid for Newcastle United supporters

Premier League billionaires Manchester City have today launched an
audacious bid for the entire fan base of recently relegated Newcastle
United. The unexpected move has come as part of City’s plans to be
the best supported club in the world, and the so-called ‘Best
Supporters In The World’ have provided a logical starting point. The
move will see each of Newcastle United’s 50,000 ‘regulars’ offered
GBP1,000 to change their allegiances to Manchester City.

Our competitive advantage is our financial position, and we will buy
anything and everything we feel will help us improve this football
club. Said City boss Mark Hughes. Securing the Newcastle United fans
offers us a great opportunity to improve our position as the best
supported club in the league They have just the sort of experience
we’re looking for, in that they’ve enjoyed fleeting periods of great
expectation followed almost immediately by abject failure, which will
be useful to us in the next two years.

Unlimited funds

Hughes continued, We’ll happily pay top dollar for supporters who
will blindly follow their team and defend them as the greatest in the
world in the face of over-whelming evidence to the contrary. And in
that respect, the Geordies really are second to none. The Newcastle
fans, who will not be subjected to a medical, are expected to have a
‘fully clothed at all times’ clause inserted into their Man City
contracts. A Newcastle spokesperson said that although the move has
come at a bad time for them, the entire fee will be used to rebuild
the supporter base into a slimmer, better looking unit which they
hope will be ‘the envy of the Championship’ .

The inevitable crackdown on Twitter use by NFL players and personnel has begun with the Packers and Dolphins banning use of it from “pre-game warmups to the end of the game”. Similar bans elsewhere have created stupid situations such as in San Diego. Antonio Cromartie was fined $2500 for twittering about the Chargers’ “nasty food” and wondering if it prevented the Chargers from making it to the Super Bowl the past couple years. As with most things Norv Turner does, Cromartie isn’t impressed.

“But other than [the amount of the fine], I mean, I ain’t going to take back what I said,” Cromartie said after practice Tuesday afternoon. “I said what I had to say. But at the end of the day, I mean, I got fined for talking about nutrition and that. I can’t really say too much else.

“I didn’t think it would cause a stir like I did, but me being me, I think I’m going to keep my mouth shut from here on out,” he said. “I ain’t going to say nothing else. I want to make sure I keep everything positive. Obviously, I mean, I can’t really say what I really want to say. My freedom of speech has actually been taken away.”

No justice, no peace. Turner has banned Twitter use in the building and as well as criticizing the team on the social network.

Shawne Merriman, on the other hand, thinks the whole situation is hilarious.

Merriman also has gems such as

Ok lets make a deal if all yall pitch in a dollar ill tweet more they handing out fines like free turkeys on thanksgiving ya dig?

or

Yea you can be tough alllllll you want to but the first time you get hit for a $2500 fine my name goes from LightsOut to just switch lol

He also realizes the impact a fine this large will have players like Cromartie.

“That’s steep man. That’s half a new set of rims or something. Those had better be some powerful words and they better be reaching a lot more than the 40,000 people I have right now.”

I believe Black Moon would call that Powerful Impak (language NSFW). Boom from the cannon if you will. It’s a good thing players like Chad Ochocinco continue to keep it real on the interwebs. It shouldn’t be too hard for Cromartie and Merriman to stay a step ahead of Norville. Most of the NFL already does.