It’s probably a safe bet that Grace Lutheran likes whatever you like. We’re staying out of the whole clean royal penis thing. We’ll leave that to the clergy. Anyway, enjoy this bit of trickeration from Grace Lutheran.
We’re going to guess this is why the Celtics are getting Stephon Marbury. The sight of Starbury barking like a dog is enough to throw anyone’s concentration.
This recession business has gone far enough. Now you’re just talkin’ jibber jabber. Mr. T has given up his gold.
It doesn’t look like Tom Brady has anything to worry about from Wes Welker. Monkey-free Page Six reports that Welkah spent time with Gisele Bundchen in her Rio hotel suite while Dreamboat was rehabbing here in the US. He apparently tried to samba with her but failed miserably. How great would it have been if Ryan Clark came flying out of a closet and wrecked him Terry Tate-style when he tried to dance with Tom’s date?
Where is Right Said Fred when you need them? Former French international Youri Djorkaeff obviously misses them. That has to be the only excuse for the atrocious tribute dug up by the Guardian yesterday. Djorkaeff is best known here for bailing on the New York Red Bulls (then known as the Metrostars) to go to a World Cup match while claiming he had “unexpected, serious family matters” in France. Hanging with Carl Winslow and Stefan Urquelle is no excuse. Just ask Charles Barkley.
Those pants. Why don’t I have a pair of those? You know Carl Winslow would love to Boss Sauce in those pants. This video screams for a couple of Congolese backup dancers and Grace Jones. Like the Jason Kidd video posted earlier this week, Jerkoff’s video is bad but it still doesn’t beat Andy Cole’s Outstanding. This song and video were released in 2006. Could this have been the reason why he went AWOL? If so, the team should sue him immediately.
You always should keep your head on a swivel…even when you aren’t on the ice. Headshot!
You know its baseball season when Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen is talking. It didn’t take him long this year for him to say something of note either, yesterday Guillen was talking about his own mortal demise.
“I hope I die on the field,” he says. “I hope when I walk to change the pitcher, I drop dead and that’s it. I know my family would be so happy that it happened on the field. They wouldn’t feel bad because that’s what I’ve always wanted to do. You die on the field — good luck, get him out of here, next man.”
Sure its a romantic (and morbid) thought that Ozzie has there, ya know, to die doing what you love to do, but I’m also sure there’s plenty of Tigers and Indians fans that would love to make that a reality for Ozzie. He’s not the most liked manager outside of the south side. Some north siders might even be salivating at the thought of him dropping dead at the pitcher’s mound.
Not that Ozzie would ever watch his words, but he might want to rethink his exit strategy on this world.
From Chicago Tribune
So many things going wrong here…
You know how Goldenballs “keep[s] being strong and running on the football field”? It’s the same secret weapon he uses to satisfy Victoria and whatever nanny happens to be around at the time.
Deebo couldn’t take the Cube out as much as he tried. That muthafuckin snake though… Too bad Omar Vizquel wasn’t on that boat with J-Lo and the rest of the crew. He might have been able to save them from the anaconda if Jon Voight didn’t take him out first.
Vizquel went to Venezuela where he used his time to catch anacondas with his bare hands.
“This thing is 11 or 12 feet long,” Vizquel said. “You’ve got to find the tail and pull it out of the water and bring it to safe territory. It is dangerous in and out of the water, but you have to maneuver yourself to stay behind it. Once you’re behind it, you grab it by the back of the neck. “It’s a fun thing.”
No it’s not. You know how this starts? In the words of the late Big Pun, “Snake bite, marijuana, anaconda!” It starts with a couple drinks and some tweed. The next thing you know, you’re digging for anacondas. You know what’s fun? The Austin Carr drinking game. Hanging with Steve Urkel and speeding down the road to an amazing blow job in a car filled with wine coolers and bear claws. That’s fun. Risking death by playing that Flash Gordon game of sticking your hands into the unknown and hoping you don’t end up being bitten and/or slowly digested by a large snake. Not fun.
It must be getting close to spring ball time because it’s getting a bit date rapey in Gaineville. Offensive lineman arrested for violating restraining order and accused of date raping his girlfriend THREE times last fall. Sebastian Janikowski says you’re doing it wrong.
