The laughs never stop in Watts. Only if Ricky Baker could have joined in the fun. The least the school could do is invite Doughboy so he doesn’t feel left out. Unfortunately Will Ferrell’s funnier than Ice Cube.

Pete Carroll and Will Ferrell are recycling practical jokes. They’re going back to people falling from great heights in front of the team. In 2005, LenDale White faked falling off a building and reading. They must have tried nothing because they’re fresh out of ideas.

Offensive line coach Pat Ruel began yelling at a man atop a mechanical lift used for filming practice. The man fell from the lift, on the street outside a fence that surrounds Howard Jones Field, and landed on a cushion out of view of those attending practice.

A few seconds later, Ferrell [who wore a mask, half an Ironman costume and a Speedo-style swimsuit as Captain Compete] burst through the gate carrying the unhurt man.

As Ferrell addressed players, most of whom were laughing, another man emerged from behind the end zone engulfed in flames. After the flames were put out, Ferrell doused the man with water.

What pranks do you think Rick Neuheisel is pulling in Westwood Village? We’re guessing forcing UCLA players to draft potential brackets for the 2009 NCAA Basketball Tournament or interviewing for other jobs while saying he’s not.

Mike Singletary’s dropping his pants in frustration during his first game and now Mike D’Antoni’s feuding with Knicks fans in the first week of the season. This should go well.

D’Antoni was caught cursing Knicks fans after they started chanting for him to put Starbury in the game.

With some in the Garden crowd surprisingly chanting “We Want Steph” with 11:10 remaining in the fourth (others booed the chant), a stewing D’Antoni was caught on MSG Network cameras Wednesday in a tirade, mouthing:

“You’ve got to be (bleeping) kidding me. You’ve got to be (bleeping) kidding me. What a bunch of (bleep) holes.”

It’s unbelievable to think that he didn’t know what he was walking into when he accepted the Knicks job. This is nothing. Wait until the team hits its first losing streak. If he’s cursing fans during the first game, he’ll be rushing the stands like Ron Artest by December. What did he expect from a team with Starbury and an overweight donkey with a heart ailment?

It’s nice to see Knicks PR is in mid-season form. 10 mintues after telling reporters he was pissed at the fans, D’Antoni came back with a Knicks PR official and claimed he wasn’t cursing the fans.

“There’s no way I’d do that to the fans,” he said. “It was a great opening night. That’s what should be the story.”

Thursday, D’Antoni said of the incident “No, I would never do that. Hey, it’s done … I should do better, I’ll do better.”

Finally a coach with some sense comes to town, starts trying to fix the disaster Isiah left and the fans demand mediocrity. Hopefully the team will get back to losing. It’s what the fans deserve if they’re calling for Starbury to play.

Porn doesn’t kill people, people kill people. (SFW)

This seems like a move Sean Avery would pull. He’s definitely dirty enough. I see no reason why the Devils can’t retaliate against Avery even though he wasn’t in the building. It’s probably his fault in some way.

The “engaging raconteur” could not have been happy with Hagman’s move but The Great Muta would be proud. He was an incredibly underrated wrestler. I’m going to start spitting that powder at anyone who gets in my way whether it be at work or out on the town. “Hey could you stay late. We need … My eyes! The goggles! They do nothing! My mouth tastes like burning!”

** I had no idea Brodeur got divorced because he was nailing his sister-in-law. Well played, sir.

This isn’t news but we’re still amazed at A-Rod’s obsession with He-Man villains. Page Six reports that A-Rod and Lady Skeletor choppered off separately to the Hamptons to chill at Seinfeld’s house. What’s the deal with that? There’s no word on whether Michael Richards showed up to racially insult the Yankees third baseman. He’s not too far away from dating someone who actually looks like the Predator. I don’t know. Let’s say Bacary Sagna of Arsenal, Maria Shriver or Amy Winehouse.

If it’s not making monkey noises at African players during soccer matches, making fun of Chinese facial features during the Olympics or wearing blackface to racially insult Lewis Hamilton, it’s just not Spain.

You can always count on the Spanish to do something horrifically racist while screaming that they aren’t racist as much as you can count on the sun rising and setting. Someone in Spain has set up a website called “Burst Hamilton’s Tire” in English that “encourages visitors to leave ‘virtual nails’ on a mock-up of the Brazilian racetrack where he hopes to win the drivers’ championship this Sunday”.

A nice feature of the website allows fans to leave comments and they haven’t disappointed.

More than 16,000 racist messages using terms like “nigger” and “half-breed” have been posted on a Spanish website.

One, calling himself David, left a message saying: “—- you ——-. Monkey.”

Another, dubbed Hamilton a conguito – a type of chocolate sweet with racist overtones – and wrote: “Conguito, you are going to die.”

One message on the site, from a man calling himself Carrillo, says: ‘Half-breed, kill yourself in your car.’

Another, from ‘Alberto’, says: ‘I hope you run over your dad in the first pit stop, Hamilton.

Let’s not leave out the messages calling for Hamilton to kill himself.

It’s not clear what’s more amazing about the phenomenon of racism in Spanish sport. Is it the acts of racism or the absolute denials of it by the Spanish? Cesc Fabregas, Rudy Fernandez and Pau Gasol among others have all come out denying that the Spanish are racist. Not once have we seen any athlete or person in charge of sport condemn the acts of racism that are almost too many to count. One would think Spanish basketball players that ply their trade in the NBA or soccer players who play on multi-national club teams would be a bit more sensitive to racism but then again we’re not dealing with astrophysicists here.

Don’t count on the sporting associations such as F1, FIFA or UEFA to do anything. They’re too busy rollin’ like playboys and coming down on countries and teams they don’t like. Even when they punish teams, the fines are laughable or they reverse themselves as seen in the Athletico Madrid-Liverpool Champions League match this season. UEFA banned the match from being played in Madrid after racist taunts during the Athletico-Marseille match but they reversed themselves and the game went on as scheduled.

Nothing will change until Spain is held to account and they are made to suffer by taking away sporting events and imposing heavy fines and bans. Here’s to Hamilton winning the title and destroys the field in the process. Hopefully, he’ll follow that up by dumping whatever tranny he’s dating from the Pussycat Girls and finds himself a nice girl like that Gabrielle Union. Gabby will give it up to any athlete any time, anywhere. That girl fine! I’d tell Gabby about my college lacrosse career but I just can’t deal with having Jason Kidd’s sloppy seconds. There have to be some sports blogger status hoes out there. We’ve not above getting some Bill Cosby/Sebastian Janikowski time in with you. What’s that? No, baby. That’s not a roofie. Email us at the Deuce if you’re in the mood for some sexual healing. Chimp’s off the market. Sorry, no hot monkey love for you.

There’s not much like a lazy afternoon rugby match between two inconsequential island nations. New Zealand and the Cook Island are the kind of places you end up due to a shipwreck or plane crash. The two countries decided to see who could out-Haka who before their match and hilarity ensued

Check the two players at the bottom of the picture who hug and walk off as though nothing is going on behind them. At least the Cook Islands guy went back. The New Zealand player had his team’s back. Way back.

One would think the Cook Islands team would be on their knees crying as though they were saved. “Please, we were eating each other! No man should get used to the taste of another human…well, depending on the circumstances.”

Japan never ceases to amaze me with what they do with sport. Watch this guy launch baseballs with his nunchuck skills. Badass.

This is what 25 years of joy denied looks like.

Forget Times Square.

Cottman and Frankford is where it’s at, baby.

I don’t even KNOW these people! But we were all out there, hugging and high-fiving each other like there’s no tomorrow.

Of course, there is tomorrow, and we will celebrate. And then, oh my and then, there is noon on Friday and that march down Broad Street.

The pure, unadulterated joy of a city.

What do they dump on the winning coach in the Israeli Football League? Our guess is hummus or Manichewitz. Coach is gonna have one wicked hangover now that the Kraft family and the Israeli Football League have combined like Voltron to form the Kraft Family IFL. Those Tel Aviv vs. Ramallah games will be must see TV for sure.

I guess I shouldn’t bring my buttermilk infused-steaks to the tailgates like I do here.