I don’t know what you heard. Lamar don’t play no six man. You betta ask somebody. Who said he was doin’ that? Phil? Sheeeeit. I don’t care if God Shammgod says it. Ain’t no way that make it true! Word is born. God wants Lamar startin!
Lamar Odom feels quite strongly about his role with the Lakers this year. Phil Jackson said that Odom could end up as the sixth man this year. He’s not having it.
“He must have woke up and bumped his head. He probably hit his head on something — boom,” Odom said about Jackson. “To start off like that, you’ve got to be out of your . . . mind.”
Wait until his cellphone video where he talks shit about Phil and demands a trade to Memphis or Charlotte. He might even try to jump a Mini-Cooper or a pool full of angry koala bears. Will Odom be the West Coast Marbury? It’s not clear whether he has the crazy but one can hope.
This is hardcore sprinting on this Japanese gameshow. The guy has to run right through like 50 fluorescent bulbs and does so without flinching. Its certainly impressive to watch, especially in slow motion and boy is it a good thing he’s wearing those goggles, not like those bulbs don’t each contain a tiny amount of the neurotoxin mercury that he is breathing in while blasting through them or anything. Way to go smartguy!
Stories like these make me ashamed to be from Maryland. Sorry, Murland.
Spring Meadow Farms in Baltimore Country held a pig wrestling jamboree this past weekend to the dismay of county officials and PETA. Owner Stan Dabkowski fought the power and held the event even though he was threatened with protests and county code violations.
Twenty groups of four-member teams took turns attempting to corral pigs and place them in a round, shallow water trough for a $150 prize. Each had 90 seconds to do so. Some were able to do it in as few as 25 seconds.
Let me say that I, for one, am offended. The pig is a wonderful, magical animal and unlike those who would disparage it, I find it to be quite halal and kosher. Oink vey indeed! What other animal gives us pork, sausage and bacon? It’s a literal food factory and people are defiling it for their pleasure. Let us not even speak about their intelligence. If the pig had opposable thumbs, I would be wary of facing it in a game of backgammon. If the pig could speak, I would love to discuss Wittgenstein, Heidegger and the Marquis de Sade with the pig over said game of backgammon. Instead some yokels force the pigs into corrals for their amusement and don’t even partake in their sweet, sweet deliciousness. For shame! Save the salted meats! I’m furious. I’m gonna go complain to my purents.
It’s unbelievable that Ozzie Guillen would come this far only to let evil win now. Of course, we’re talking about the evil that is Jay Mariotti. The terrorists will win if Guillen follows through on his threat to leave town.
“If we lose this thing, I’m going to ask [Chairman] Jerry Reinsdorfto give me the private plane,” Guillen said Saturday.
“I don’t have the guts to look at the people’s faces in O’Hare Airport or Midway after this season.
“Then I won’t have to see anyone in the airport and feel embarrassed or disappointed. I can get to Miami, where nobody really knows the White Sox. I will be embarrassed and I will be disappointed about seeing the people in the airport, seeing their faces, because we let them down.”
Miami really is the equivalent to the gulag or desert wasteland when it comes to sports. Maybe Ozzie was thinking of Cuba Jr. when he smashed pictures in his office after Friday’s loss. Carlos Quentin decided he wanted to smash too. Too bad he ended his season prematurely when he broke his wrist after “accidentally slamming his right wrist on the top of his bat after fouling off a pitch”.
Ozzie also discussed White Sox fans showing their displeasure on Friday and Saturday by booing the team.
“Sometimes when I hear those things I say, ‘I wish [I was] in Caracas (Venezuela) right now,’ because then my boys would be right behind [me]. But I don’t blame them.
Maybe he should bring his boys to Chicago. If anyone gives him shit in O’Hare or Midway, his boys could get all Chavista and beat that ass like James Joyce on a red-headed stepchild.**
**Do people even saying that anymore? What’s so bad about a red-headed stepchild? I could understand if it was that annoying red-headed kid from Diff’rent Strokes. Mr. Horton should have molested him instead of Dudley. I’m such a poser for mentioning Joyce on a sports blog. I’ll donkey punch myself to make up for it.
The spawn of the A-Team’s Dirk Benedict is running loose in England. Shady land grabbers beware.
Roland Benedict, son of Dirk, is on trial with English League Two outfit Gillingham. The Daily Mail claims that “the six-footer made a name for himself on the college basketball circuit last year.” That would be pretty sweet if it were true. Too bad it’s not.
Face Jr. just graduated from high school. He was going to attend the University of the Redlands but decided to give English soccer a shot.
Face must think Colonel Decker can’t go international. How he underestimates the long arm of the USMP.
