We all remember this Fanhouse post featuring Hollis Thomas wearing this scary crazy Spongebob getup at some sort of event. No one was really sure what New Orleans Saints LB Hollis Thomas was thinking wearing that ensemble but apparently this outfit has something to do with Hollis having an irrational obsession with all things SpongeBob Square Pants. The good folks at Baller Alert got this awesome tidbit from an anonymous tipster:
To Whom It May Concern: Hollis Thomas is a 34 year old, 13 year NFL veteran. He is stubborn, lovable, & friendly. He is your typical NFL baller… however; he has a fetish with Spongebob. This man is obsessed with Spongebob. He sleeps on Spongebob sheets, rocks a Spongebob medallion on his necklace, and watches Spongebob during sex. His room is chalked full of everything Spongebob, he references Spongebob during his conversations!!! I think he once he gets a hold of something he refuses to let it go… the only thing he has been releasing lately is his receding hairline. I would call him weird but even weirdos have a method to their madness. You can catch him coloring Spongebob pictures with felt markers or playing a Spongebob game on one of his many gaming consoles. He wears Spongebob underwear like they are the latest pair of Calvin Klein’s.
Wow, ok, so the man watches Spongebob during sex and wears Spongebob underwear. Ok, well I guess all this might shed a little light on why he was wearing that outfit…the man is clearly insane.
When someone requests Luther, you don’t say no. Hopefully JT will be haunted by the ghost of Fat Luther instead of Skinny Luther. You just don’t see fat ghosts anywhere these days.
Deer Camp, a musical comedy about hunting, debuted last Wednesday at the Lowry Theatre in St. Paul…wait, let me say that again, a musical comedy?? Oh those wacky Minnesotans. Now that I think about it, I can’t think of anything that brings to mind musical comedy more than 4 men in the woods, in a cabin, on a cold autumn weekend with their guns. Yeah, ok here’s the writeup:
This laugh-out-loud musical follows the guys from Elmwood, MN on their annual hunting trip to deer camp where they do anything but hunt!
But this year is different; after 15 years of coming home with nothing but a hangover, the guys are under a threat from their wives to “get a deer or else.”
That means no more hunting trips if they come back empty handed again.
Wow that sounds like a laugh a minute to me! Think of all the fart jokes, the fun pranks they do when one passes out from too much booze, the shootings in the ass, the cornhole on the lawn, the unruly matches of euchre, the games of hide the sausage, trying not to get stabbed by the antlers…and I can go on with this. It all sounds like they might’ve found the sequel to Brokeback Mountain, “Brokeback Mountain 2: Deer Camp“. This play is FULL of possibilities! How this hasn’t garnered a national run is beyond me.
Lord knows that Broadway has run out of ideas, maybe this is the kind of out of the box thinking they need to bring some life to the theatre district…or not at all.
Training camp is barely underway and Stephon Marbury is already causing headaches for everyone in Knick Land. You’ve already seen the reports of his Media Day comments. Now his teammates are struggling to find ways to say they want him gone.
…”I just feel like, I guess right now that’s the story – if he’s gonna be here or if he’s not, or does he come off the bench if he is here and all that stuff. That’s all fine and well, but we just need to focus more on winning games.”
“We should be more focused on restoring order to the Knicks,” [Jamal] Crawford said.
That can’t happen, and won’t happen, as long as No. 3 – “Coney Island’s Finest,” as the tattoo on his left biceps says – remains the center of the universe. “It’s bigger than just one person, this organization,” Crawford said.
Newsday’s Ken Berger reports that coach Mike D’Antoni polled the team on Starbury and he lost in a landslide. They want him gone yesterday.
Berger already has Starbury praying for him so that means his mind is somewhere else already. Take the malcontent and add a little sciatica and we have the makings of another quality Knickerbocker season. This should end well for Knick haters such as myself.
Larry Brown has already started to take digs at the Bobcats roster and the guys who gave it to him, Michael Jordan and Rod Higgins.
“I’m concerned about who’s going to be our third point guard. I’m concerned if we have a small forward that can guard,” Brown said. “I’m concerned if we can find a power forward that can play…”
“When I got the job I told Michael and (GM) Rod (Higgins) that we needed three point guards that could bring the ball up against the press, one of them with size. We needed two small forwards that could defend. And we needed five big guys and try to make them as athletic as possible,” Brown said.
So how does this roster mesh with what he wanted?
“I don’t know if it does,” Brown said. “We’ll just have to wait and see how it plays out.”
Yes, its true, Larry Brown has already thrown his bosses under a bus and training camps are barely starting. If the season goes south quick he will always be able to say that he wasn’t given the roster that he wanted. He just gave himself an out to say, “Its not my fault we sucked, I told them what we needed to win.”
The man can coach, we’ve all seen him coach up a team quite well, but he doesn’t normally start burning bridges before a game gets played. Usually Larry saves that for much later in the season. Should be fun times in Charlotte this year.
I don’t know what you heard. Lamar don’t play no six man. You betta ask somebody. Who said he was doin’ that? Phil? Sheeeeit. I don’t care if God Shammgod says it. Ain’t no way that make it true! Word is born. God wants Lamar startin!
Lamar Odom feels quite strongly about his role with the Lakers this year. Phil Jackson said that Odom could end up as the sixth man this year. He’s not having it.
“He must have woke up and bumped his head. He probably hit his head on something — boom,” Odom said about Jackson. “To start off like that, you’ve got to be out of your . . . mind.”
Wait until his cellphone video where he talks shit about Phil and demands a trade to Memphis or Charlotte. He might even try to jump a Mini-Cooper or a pool full of angry koala bears. Will Odom be the West Coast Marbury? It’s not clear whether he has the crazy but one can hope.
This is hardcore sprinting on this Japanese gameshow. The guy has to run right through like 50 fluorescent bulbs and does so without flinching. Its certainly impressive to watch, especially in slow motion and boy is it a good thing he’s wearing those goggles, not like those bulbs don’t each contain a tiny amount of the neurotoxin mercury that he is breathing in while blasting through them or anything. Way to go smartguy!
Stories like these make me ashamed to be from Maryland. Sorry, Murland.
Spring Meadow Farms in Baltimore Country held a pig wrestling jamboree this past weekend to the dismay of county officials and PETA. Owner Stan Dabkowski fought the power and held the event even though he was threatened with protests and county code violations.
Twenty groups of four-member teams took turns attempting to corral pigs and place them in a round, shallow water trough for a $150 prize. Each had 90 seconds to do so. Some were able to do it in as few as 25 seconds.
Let me say that I, for one, am offended. The pig is a wonderful, magical animal and unlike those who would disparage it, I find it to be quite halal and kosher. Oink vey indeed! What other animal gives us pork, sausage and bacon? It’s a literal food factory and people are defiling it for their pleasure. Let us not even speak about their intelligence. If the pig had opposable thumbs, I would be wary of facing it in a game of backgammon. If the pig could speak, I would love to discuss Wittgenstein, Heidegger and the Marquis de Sade with the pig over said game of backgammon. Instead some yokels force the pigs into corrals for their amusement and don’t even partake in their sweet, sweet deliciousness. For shame! Save the salted meats! I’m furious. I’m gonna go complain to my purents.
It’s unbelievable that Ozzie Guillen would come this far only to let evil win now. Of course, we’re talking about the evil that is Jay Mariotti. The terrorists will win if Guillen follows through on his threat to leave town.
“If we lose this thing, I’m going to ask [Chairman] Jerry Reinsdorfto give me the private plane,” Guillen said Saturday.
“I don’t have the guts to look at the people’s faces in O’Hare Airport or Midway after this season.
“Then I won’t have to see anyone in the airport and feel embarrassed or disappointed. I can get to Miami, where nobody really knows the White Sox. I will be embarrassed and I will be disappointed about seeing the people in the airport, seeing their faces, because we let them down.”
Miami really is the equivalent to the gulag or desert wasteland when it comes to sports. Maybe Ozzie was thinking of Cuba Jr. when he smashed pictures in his office after Friday’s loss. Carlos Quentin decided he wanted to smash too. Too bad he ended his season prematurely when he broke his wrist after “accidentally slamming his right wrist on the top of his bat after fouling off a pitch”.
Ozzie also discussed White Sox fans showing their displeasure on Friday and Saturday by booing the team.
“Sometimes when I hear those things I say, ‘I wish [I was] in Caracas (Venezuela) right now,’ because then my boys would be right behind [me]. But I don’t blame them.
Maybe he should bring his boys to Chicago. If anyone gives him shit in O’Hare or Midway, his boys could get all Chavista and beat that ass like James Joyce on a red-headed stepchild.**
**Do people even saying that anymore? What’s so bad about a red-headed stepchild? I could understand if it was that annoying red-headed kid from Diff’rent Strokes. Mr. Horton should have molested him instead of Dudley. I’m such a poser for mentioning Joyce on a sports blog. I’ll donkey punch myself to make up for it.
The spawn of the A-Team’s Dirk Benedict is running loose in England. Shady land grabbers beware.
Roland Benedict, son of Dirk, is on trial with English League Two outfit Gillingham. The Daily Mail claims that “the six-footer made a name for himself on the college basketball circuit last year.” That would be pretty sweet if it were true. Too bad it’s not.
Face Jr. just graduated from high school. He was going to attend the University of the Redlands but decided to give English soccer a shot.
Face must think Colonel Decker can’t go international. How he underestimates the long arm of the USMP.
We all remember this Fanhouse post featuring Hollis Thomas wearing this scary crazy Spongebob getup at some sort of event. No one was really sure what New Orleans Saints LB Hollis Thomas was thinking wearing that ensemble but apparently this outfit has something to do with Hollis having an irrational obsession with all things SpongeBob Square Pants. The good folks at Baller Alert got this awesome tidbit from an anonymous tipster:
