Eat The Clock: Competitive Eating Comes To Food Network
I don’t know if Food Network can ever make up for imposing Rachel Ray and The Neelys on us. However Eat The Clock could be a good start.
Eat The Clock is a competitive eating show described in the Hollywood Reporter as “a cross between an eating competition and ‘The Amazing Race.’ Two teams of contestants follow clues to various Los Angeles eateries and enjoy culinary treats.”
Upon further review, it seems that gluttony won’t be a big part of the show. Food Network is turning into a cocktease. Fuck them. Who wants another version of the Amazing Race? “I know, let’s copy the Amazing Race and limit it to one city! People will love that! Next season, we can do it in Wilmington!”
The show should be a cross between a competitive eating contest and the Running Man. Imagine Eric “Badlands” Booker (pictured above) chasing the Neelys down a street and silencing that fucking yammering with his detachable jaw. Rachel Ray would never see the end coming from Joey Chestnut or Kobayashi until it was too late. BBQ sauce would cover her head as everything goes black and we win money. Too bad Richard Dawson isn’t alive to host this show. Bob Barker, Wink Martindale or Chuck Woolery could handle it with ease.
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