Orioles Magic Doesn’t Work On Jesus Day
The Orioles have already exceeded the expectations of their fans this season. I should probably speak for myself. Yes, they’re in last place but it’s not a strong last place. The pitching and offense are much better than expected. However, there’s one hurdle the O’s can’t seem to jump.
Jesus Quintana was right. Nobody fucks with the Jesus (NSFW – language). The Orioles can’t win on Sundays. No one seems to know why and the team is getting desperate. Jay Payton is even considering animal sacrifice.
“We should just quit playing on Sundays and we’ll be in first place,” Jay Payton said. “It’s just one of those stats. Maybe we need to cut the head off a monkey or something to switch it up. I think it’s usually a chicken, but I’m thinking maybe a monkey would work. But that’s animal cruelty. I wouldn’t do that.”
I bet Ramon Hernandez or Kevin Millar wouldn’t hesitate. Aubrey Huff’s the utility guy. Animal sacrifice must fall under the utility designation although he’d probably say that’s horseshit.
** Sorry about the imbedded crap on the video but every clean version has been taken down or has no sound.
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