13:45 and counting. No more bullshit. Manchester United is through. One semifinal left. Chelsea vs. Liverpool. 2:45 EST. Only one genre has the words. Yacht Rock.
When will the bad times end for AC Milan and Brazil striker Ronaldo? Once he was almost the greatest soccer player in the history of the universe. Now he’s fat, gimpy and getting rolled by trannies.
Ronaldo was questioned by police in Sao Paulo after being caught with transvestite hookers in a motel room. He claimed the bitches set him up (Marion Barry would be proud) and tried to extort money out of him. He was unaware that the hookers were trannies until they got to the hotel but he was aware that they were prostitutes.
[Police inspector Carlos Augusto] Nogueira said the altercation began when Ronaldo found out he was dealing with transvestites instead of women. The inspector said Ronaldo admitted he knew they were prostitutes when they met earlier Sunday night but did not realize they were transvestites until they got to the motel.“He admitted to everything, he wanted to have fun,” Nogueira said. “But he committed no crime at all, it was immoral at best.”
…The AC Milan striker told police he offered to pay the transvestites anyway, but before he left one of them allegedly asked for $30,000 to hide the story from the media.
The prostitutes claimed Ronaldo also asked for drugs but he denied this in a statement to Globo TV.
Prostitution isn’t a crime in Brazil so Ronaldo isn’t in trouble with the law.He must be happy that he won’t be going back to Milan in the near future. AC Milan owner, Italian prime minister and all-around buffoon Silvio Berlusconi probably ordered him to use hookers to keep his cardio up while rehabbing his knee.
Here’s a preview of Guy Ritchie’s new Nike Football commercial which will be shown in its entirety during today’s Champions League match between Manchester United and Barcelona. It features Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo, Cesc Fabregas, William “Wah” Gallas, Marco Materazzi, and Arsene Wenger. Ronaldinho, Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Ruud Van Horseyface also appear in the ad.
You know your season is going bad when 7 year olds are drinking in the stands. 47 year old Tigers fan, Christopher Ratte lost custody of his son for a week because his 7 year old son was caught drinking a bottle of Mikes Hard Lemonade in the stands. Ratte’s son was thirsty towards the end of a game and asked for a bottle of lemonade and Ratte obliged but he unknowingly purchased his son a bottle of “hard lemonade”, not knowing that it contained any alcohol.
“I’d never drunk it, never purchased it, never heard of it,” Ratte of Ann Arbor told [the reporter] sheepishly last week. “And it’s certainly not what I expected when I ordered a lemonade for my 7-year-old.”
A security guard saw the boy drinking it, took the bottle away from the kid, scolded the parent, called the police over and took Ratte in for questioning for an hour while his son was taken to a hospital for observation. The child was then kept from Ratte and his wife for two days in foster care, then once released, it was another week before Ratte could go back to his house and be around his son.
Bit of an overreaction sure, but, sadly, the officials all pretty much followed the law on this one. Still though, quite a mess. Poor kid probably had no idea what was going on…and not because he was hittin the bottle hard. Apparently the kid didn’t even get drunk. All of that and he didn’t even get sauced? Methinks that 7 year old already has a pretty solid tolerance…or Mike’s is just a weak excuse for an alcoholic beverage. I want to believe the former is true, but the reality is the latter.
Of course, if i were a fan of the Tigers right now, I would be tipping back as many beers as I could to make it through a game…oh wait, i’m a Nationals fan…they’re so sad I’m drunk right now and its an off game. Go Nats!
From Detroit Free Press
The guys at FanIQ are celebrating the 25th anniversary of Lee Elia’s rant on Cubs fans. You have to click here to listen to the clip of the greatest sports tirade ever. EVER.
This is almost a half hour of footage of Barry Bonds taking on a Japanese comedian for some Japanese television show. You get to see some of Barry at his bulked up best, cranking balls left and right out of a small ballpark in California, beating the crap out of his opponent in a live action Baseball Board Game.
That alone is cool to watch but the amazing thing here is how much Barry seems to be genuinely enjoying himself. I don’t ever think I’ve seen Bonds smile and laugh this much, ever. It’s actually quite fun to watch him playing baseball without the weight of the world bearing down on his shoulders. Barry Bonds smiling, laughing and having fun, it’s been a long time. You forget how likable he can be when he doesn’t have the media and professional pressures beating him down.
Watch it now before it gets taken down because it probably will soon.
Bonds Art From George Vlosich’s Art Gallery
…no one said anything about a groin check. No foul here…totally legal.
Who woulda thought I could get two of these up in a row? I surely didn’t. Enjoy the links…Welcome to the Constitutional.
The NY Daily News is reporting that Roger Clemens had a 10 year affair with country music star Mindy McCready that started when she was just 15 years old. At the time Clemens was 28 years old and pitching for the Red Sox, with a wife and two kids. They are also reporting that Clemens denies their friendship was of a sexual nature, but admits that they were friends during that time period.
“He flatly denies having had any kind of an inappropriate relationship with her,” [Clemens attorney Rusty] Hardin said. “He’s considered her a close family friend. … He has never had a sexual relationship with her.”
Hardin said the Rocket’s wife, Debbie, knew McCready and that the singer had traveled on his plane.
Riiiiiight Roger. I know a ton of professional athletes that consider 15 year old girls to be close personal friends and allow them to fly on their personal planes all the time without having to give any sexual favors whatsoever. It’s practically standard practice in the MLB isn’t it? Isn’t it?? Anyway, if he was giving the bone to a 15 year old girl with stars in her eyes, the emotional damage that usually follows might explain some of the reasons why McCready is so messed up as a human being to this day. If you don’t know, McCready has quite a storied past including identity theft, assault and battery, DUIs, a drug overdose, a suicide attempt, and parole violation. She apparently is addicted to Oxycontin (an opiate) and served a year in jail for her parole violation. That’s her in a glamorous photoshoot mugshot there. Hottie fo’ sho’, well maybe she was when she was 15. Ew…lets not think about that.
Roger is sure gonna have some ‘splaining to do and more denials just isn’t cutting it. It’s tough to believe every single story that has been written about this guy has been wrong or misremembered or whatever. It just smells off to me, bad news is all around this guy lately. Say what you will about Barry Bonds, but at least there are no stories about that guy doing this to a girl.
From NY Daily News
Ramming speed! One usually thinks of a child killing his or her parent to escape an abusive situation or over a dispute about money. It usually doesn’t occur because the son wants to be the UNC mascot.
Former mascot Rameses XVII was given a Kool Moe Dee Death Blow by his son, Pablo during a battle over the right to lead the Tar Heels football team out on the field this fall.
Rameses and Pablo shared a field at Hogan’s farm outside Carrboro. On April 13, they butted heads, as rams are occasionally wont. This particular collision was so jarring that it snapped off one of the older ram’s horns.The son Pablo, 3, will take the name Rameses XVIII and succeed his slain father as Carolina mascot, keeper Rob Hogan said.
Doesn’t Pablo know what happened to Commodus in Gladiator? His reign will not end well. It is written. Never trust your children.
