13:45 and counting. No more bullshit. Manchester United is through. One semifinal left. Chelsea vs. Liverpool. 2:45 EST. Only one genre has the words. Yacht Rock.
When will the bad times end for AC Milan and Brazil striker Ronaldo? Once he was almost the greatest soccer player in the history of the universe. Now he’s fat, gimpy and getting rolled by trannies.
Ronaldo was questioned by police in Sao Paulo after being caught with transvestite hookers in a motel room. He claimed the bitches set him up (Marion Barry would be proud) and tried to extort money out of him. He was unaware that the hookers were trannies until they got to the hotel but he was aware that they were prostitutes.
[Police inspector Carlos Augusto] Nogueira said the altercation began when Ronaldo found out he was dealing with transvestites instead of women. The inspector said Ronaldo admitted he knew they were prostitutes when they met earlier Sunday night but did not realize they were transvestites until they got to the motel.“He admitted to everything, he wanted to have fun,” Nogueira said. “But he committed no crime at all, it was immoral at best.”
…The AC Milan striker told police he offered to pay the transvestites anyway, but before he left one of them allegedly asked for $30,000 to hide the story from the media.
The prostitutes claimed Ronaldo also asked for drugs but he denied this in a statement to Globo TV.
Prostitution isn’t a crime in Brazil so Ronaldo isn’t in trouble with the law.He must be happy that he won’t be going back to Milan in the near future. AC Milan owner, Italian prime minister and all-around buffoon Silvio Berlusconi probably ordered him to use hookers to keep his cardio up while rehabbing his knee.
Here’s a preview of Guy Ritchie’s new Nike Football commercial which will be shown in its entirety during today’s Champions League match between Manchester United and Barcelona. It features Wayne Rooney, Cristiano Ronaldo, Cesc Fabregas, William “Wah” Gallas, Marco Materazzi, and Arsene Wenger. Ronaldinho, Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Ruud Van Horseyface also appear in the ad.
You know your season is going bad when 7 year olds are drinking in the stands. 47 year old Tigers fan, Christopher Ratte lost custody of his son for a week because his 7 year old son was caught drinking a bottle of Mikes Hard Lemonade in the stands. Ratte’s son was thirsty towards the end of a game and asked for a bottle of lemonade and Ratte obliged but he unknowingly purchased his son a bottle of “hard lemonade”, not knowing that it contained any alcohol.
“I’d never drunk it, never purchased it, never heard of it,” Ratte of Ann Arbor told [the reporter] sheepishly last week. “And it’s certainly not what I expected when I ordered a lemonade for my 7-year-old.”
A security guard saw the boy drinking it, took the bottle away from the kid, scolded the parent, called the police over and took Ratte in for questioning for an hour while his son was taken to a hospital for observation. The child was then kept from Ratte and his wife for two days in foster care, then once released, it was another week before Ratte could go back to his house and be around his son.
Bit of an overreaction sure, but, sadly, the officials all pretty much followed the law on this one. Still though, quite a mess. Poor kid probably had no idea what was going on…and not because he was hittin the bottle hard. Apparently the kid didn’t even get drunk. All of that and he didn’t even get sauced? Methinks that 7 year old already has a pretty solid tolerance…or Mike’s is just a weak excuse for an alcoholic beverage. I want to believe the former is true, but the reality is the latter.
Of course, if i were a fan of the Tigers right now, I would be tipping back as many beers as I could to make it through a game…oh wait, i’m a Nationals fan…they’re so sad I’m drunk right now and its an off game. Go Nats!
From Detroit Free Press
The guys at FanIQ are celebrating the 25th anniversary of Lee Elia’s rant on Cubs fans. You have to click here to listen to the clip of the greatest sports tirade ever. EVER.
