Wayne Rooney doesn’t takes ‘em 8 to 80 dumb, crippled and crazy like Big Daddy Kane. He takes them dumb and 80 except when it comes to ‘is Colleen. We know how he loves him some dusty granny action on the DL. Now he’s going have to work it and do his thing down the wedding aisle if his cousin has anything to say about it. Good thing he has an open mind.
Rooney is marrying his WAG Colleen in June 2008 and his tranny cousin Stephen wants to be a bridesmaid. In fact, he’s already hitting the shops in hope/anticipation of Colleen asking him to be a part of the wedding.
Friends are worried that the wedding would turn into a spectacle due to Stephen’s antics. However, they shouldn’t be so quick to judge. One friend said, “”Wayne didn’t rule Stephen out so we reckon he’s still in with a chance as a bridesmaid … and he’d do as good a job as posh friends like Victoria Beckham any day.”
Stephen also works at Kentucky Fried Chicken so he could stock the reception at cost or even less if he saves up his shift meals and keeps them frozen until June. He’s the gift that keeps on giving.
If this picture is anything to go by, he’ll definitely do a better job than Rio Ferdinand.
Colleen had some “thoughts” on her impending nuptials.
“What I do know is that wherever we marry I’d like a Catholic ceremony and want to be married by a priest. I’m really looking forward to becoming Mrs Wayne Rooney!”
Yeah, Pope Benedict will be down with a drunken Scouser tranny in the wedding party. The Catholic Church’s stance against Scousers hasn’t changed since Liverpool’s founding in 1207.
“He’s kind of in the same position Bush is in. No matter what he does, if it’s good, no one’s going to give him a break. Everything he does or the team does that doesn’t look good, he’s going to get blamed for. Isiah’s heart is in the right spot. He’s trying to do the things to manufacture a good team. Things aren’t clicking. It’s easier to fire a coach than 15 players.”
Aaaaaaaand we are back. I hope all had a nice winter holiday, I know did. We missed a ton over the last couple weeks (like the Najeh Davenport playing thing) that we were sporadically posting, but we’ll come on strong heading into and through the new year. Its good to be back…Welcome to the Constitutional.
We were interviewed by this new blog recently, it was posted while we were on break, but here it is. Sports Tech Blog
We also participated in Jamie Mottram’s top 40 sports figures of 2007 list, see what some of the top names in blogging had to say about who were the most blogable sports peoples this year. Yahoo Sports
WCK never ceases to amaze me with his coverage of the Olympics. This Olympics advertisement is one of the most glorious abortions on film i’ve ever seen. 100% Injury Rate
Found: Footage of Jordan vs Len Bias in college. Disappointing these two never got to spar in the NBA. Hoopsvibe
Leave it to the Australians to take a celebration to the next level. Screw pouring beer on heads. Try eating the bottle caps as well.
An amateur Aussie Rules football player was rushed to the hospital after swallowing a bottle cap during celebrations for a grand final win. He chugged a beer and swallowed the cap that was at the bottom.
He was rushed to the hospital where surgeons were able to remove the cap using an endoscope. His blood alcohol level was almost .11.
“This is the first one of these I’ve seen (personally), but we see stupid stuff all the time – it always involves young blokes, beer, girls and sport,” [Royal Adelaide Hospital emergency department registrar Dr. Robert Douglas] said.
You think it would end there but it don’t. As Mickey Rivers would say, “You think it don’t be like it is but it do”.
Dr. Douglas wrote an article in the British Medical Journal which uses this incident to illustrate that champagne and wine are safer than beer when celebrating or making it rain.
Excessive alcohol consumption as a celebratory consequence ofhigh profile sporting victories is well known. Oesophageal obstructionfrom a bottle cap, however, is rarely seen in emergency departments.12 In suspected cases, airways obstruction and injury shouldbe rapidly excluded. A comprehensive Medline search failed to elicit an example ofoesophageal obstruction secondary to the ingestion of a champagne(or wine) cork. Since the 18th century, champagne has been thebeverage of choice for celebrations3 and on current evidenceshould remain so.
If anything, this incident should be looked at as a challenge to the next Aussie Rules champions. Let’s see you down a bottle cap, mate.
Stephen also works at Kentucky Fried Chicken so he could stock the reception at cost or even less if he saves up his shift meals and keeps them frozen until June. He’s the gift that keeps on giving.
