Michael Jordan’s divorce is final and the bill is in…MJ is set to pay his ex-wife Juanita Jordan 168 million dollars in what appears to be the most expensive break-up ever. According to the Times UK, the final settlement includes their 7 acre Chicago estate and custody of their 3 children. In ranking the top 5 celebrity divorces, the Times has Jordan as #1, next to Neil Diamond’s $150+ million gut-wrencher.

So…when do you think that you’ll be seeing ole number 23 checking into a Charlotte Bobcats game? He’s gotta make that $168 million back somehow and it’s not gonna be done playing poker, blackjack and golf for cash. Selling those 100 dollar shoes will only go so far. I think the best way to get start recouping his losses is to start up a reality TV show called “Be Like Mike” where he and Charles Oakley teach a group of young men how to be an ultra-competitive, out of control gambling, out of their prime athletes bent on banging as many white women as possible while still defying the odds and somehow not contracting the HIV virus like their boy Magic.

It’l work I tell you. Don’t be like Mike…sign a prenup that is actually in your favor. Dumbass.

Link to the Times UK Story

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Filed under: AIDS • Be Like Mike • Charles Oakley • Charlotte Bobcats • Chicago Bulls • HIV • Juanita Jordan • Magic Johnson • Michael Jordan

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