Where Is Fred Smoot?
The Redskins signed Fred Smoot this offseason, bringing back to DC one of the games greatest talkers…and party throwers. But you wouldn’t know it would you? You really haven’t heard a peep from Smoot at all this offseason? Has one of the few personalities that we have drafted on our team finally mellowed out a bit? I hope not for the Redskins’ defense’s sake. Let us take this quiet time though to remember the quotes of the younger, more brash Fred Smoot. The man who actually has a web page devoted SOLEY to his quotes! Here we go:
“They might as well put us on BET, on Christmas Eve, and call it the “We Got Screwed Bowl.” (on getting snubbed on a bowl at MSU)
“75 percent of the world is covered by water. The rest is covered by Smoot.”
“They say the world is covered by 3 quarters water and 1 quarter Smoot.”
“If they throw me the ball, I will catch it. I missed a couple picks today, so don’t tell Coach Spurrier I said that.”
“I have one of the rookies carry my gear off the field every day. That’s what rookies do. That’s what I had to do. And that’s what they’re going to keep on doing. So if you want to come to the NFL, you’re going to have to carry my stuff.”
“Well, in Jackson (Miss.) where I’m from, they don’t call it the ‘Home of Fred Smoot.’ So I’m wondering what’s going on! ” (about Brett Favre’s hometown)
“My mama and I had arguments and I couldn’t even fight back. But the jaw is fine. It’s not a glass jaw, it’s made of steel.” (about his broken jaw)
“You can’t get glass without it going through a lot of changes and then it comes out smooth. I am that smooth part right now.” (about returning to DC)
“I would love to be a Viking… But I am nobody’s bench rider. Fred Smoot is a starter.”
“Man….most people don’t even understand me when I speak English.” (on learning Chinese)
“They’re killing my name. Point blank. Somebody’s going to have to pay for it.” (on being included in the sex boat scandal…before he was charged with indecent conduct, disorderly conduct and lewd or lascivious conduct and before he pleaded guilty to misdemeanor disorderly conduct and to being a public nuisance on a watercraft while paying a $1,000 fine, performing 48 hours of community service and had 30-day jail sentences stayed for a year. Apparently, that someone who paid was he.)
Tony Kornheiser: Fred Smoot?
Get back to talkin’ Fred. DC, nay, THE WHOLE WORLD needs you.
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