Well, we did tell you that the Lankan attack was brilliant and lethal. And we told you that the Lankans would win, because their class would differentiate them from a rather plain, if very talented and consistent, New Zealand side. But we had no idea just how dominant the victory would be, as Sri Lanka won by 81 runs. After losing two wickets — Jayasuriya and Sangakkara! — relatively early, Mahela Jayawardene built a remarkable innings, scoring 115 off 109 balls, and powering his side to an imposing 5/289. The Kiwis never had a chance chasing that kind of target — not when Murali, Malinga, and Vaas were in such fine form.

At 4pm today the Redskins will host their annual draft week media briefing. This will surely begin a very miserable week for Redskins fans and will be an ominous precursor for the season to come. What are they gonna tell us this year? Do they want Landry or Okoye? Do they want to have even less picks so they can trade up for Calvin Johnson, a wide receiver, who would fit well on a team that already has at least 4 signed for the next 4 years? Who knows. Yes, this is a week of misery, not because we know what they will do but because the history of this franchise’s draft picks for the last 5 years tells us whatever they do, it will usually not work out.

The Deuce staff apologizes for its weeklong absence. Suffice it to say that we simply didn’t have time to blog, given that we were spread across the planet on critical missions. One of us was called in to work on a top-secret investigation in the Caribbean — and Mustafa’s remarkable knowledge of snake venoms has never been of such practical use. The Code Monkey was meditating with Agent Zero and Caron Butler in Cleveland, in a futile attempt to hypnotize them into playing shape. And I was in Dehli, seeking to thwart the most brazen attack on the people of the Indian Subcontinent since the Sino-Indian War.

So the World Cup semifinals start in about two minutes, and I’m sure you’re waiting for the Deuce’s official predictions before you head over to Bet 365. Well, here you go:

Tuesday: Sri Lanka v. New Zealand at Sabina, Jamaica

Prior to the tournament, I predicted that Sri Lanka would join Sethaffrika and Australia in the semis. I didn’t see New Zealand making it — though their attack was undeniably strong, I couldn’t imagine that the batting would be consistent enough to make it through the Super 8s. Of course, I didn’t imagine that India would shit the bed in such spectacular fashion.

But the Kiwis have been consistently excellent, with Scott Styris the anchor of the batting, and Shane Bond leading an attack that has performed even better that one could have expected at the beginning of the tourney. And as many have noted, the fast, hard pitch of Sabina — denuded of the grass that so flummoxed Pakistan against Ireland — will be fun for Bond. But it’s going to take more than Bond to beat Sri Lanka, because Sri Lanka aren’t just consistent. They’re brilliant. The varied attack — with the conventional pace of Vaas, the freakish deliveries of Malinga, and the genius of Murali — complements a strong batting order. In the end, while NZ is a very good team, SL is a special team. They just have the extra intangibles necessary to win a match between two talented sides. SL by 45 runs.

Wednesday: Australia v. South Africa at Gros Inlet, St. Lucia

When de Villiers and Smith were at something like 0/130 (and batting ahead of the required run rate) against Australia in late March, they really had a chance to beat the champs. Then they lost a cheap wicket, and collapsed in a mire of Jacques Kallis cautiousness. They won’t come nearly as close this time, as the Aussies have just kept improving, and as the Saffers attack lacks the variety to really trouble the Aussie bats. As obnoxiously arrogant as they may be, Ponting and his boys will cruise to a fascinating matchup with Sri Lanka on Saturday. Australia by 5 wickets/75 runs.

So many stories on the web, so little time to blog about them all, so the Deuce is dropping a deuce of links on you, hope you find them as entertaining as us:

- David Arquette shows his love of the ganja!!! while throwing out the first pitch at a Cubs game: TonyPierce.com
- Sex Scandal Teachers starting lineup: Stucknut/Barstoolsports
- Jovanate & Andy McDonald teach you wild and crazy pogo hopping tricks Euro stylie!: Youtube
- Koren Robinson is on work release, tried to lobby to be a janitor at the Miller Plant, instead working at a hospital: JS Online
- Somebody should tell Elton Brand he plays for the Clippers: LA Times
- List of the Top 10 Sports commercials of all time…and yet, no Terry Tate appears?? I call shenannigans!!!: SportsBusinessRadio

And speaking of Terry Tate…

This guy should be the Deuce’s mascot. He brings the funk, he brings the noize.