Titus Bramble’s Roaster
Talk about game. Jesus Shuttlesworth ain’t got shit on Titus Bramble. How he hasn’t repped at the Players Ball is beyond us. The brotha is smoother than Peabo Bryson.
Only three short years ago, he was arrested for allegedly roasting a girl with seven other people and now he’s mixed up with another rape case. Police interrogated the Newcastle defender (and we use the term defender quite loosely) after a woman claimed she was raped at his house while another person watched.
“A couple of girls were really flirting and dancing all round them and making it clear they were up for a party.”
Meet the new face of the Kenny Rogers Roasters ad campaign. Stay classy, Titus.
Champions League Round of 16 Roundup: Chelsea Makes Arsenal Its Bitch Again
No, you take it.
But I don’t want it.
No, no I insist please.
Are you sure?
Oui, oui please. We don’t want it.
Ok if you insist…Stupid frogs.
First Chelsea beat nine-man Arsenal in the Carling Cup final a week and a half ago and then Alex, who plays for PSV but is owned by Chelsea, gives Arsenal a goal only to come back and score the winner to knock them out of the Champions League. Oh and Thierry Henry is going the way of Barbaro. Not selling him last year was genius.
One could start comparing Arsenal to the 1991 UNLV team that lost to Duke. There have been countless matches this season where Arsenal have clearly been the dominant team and done everything it had to except score. Don’t be surprised if you see pictures of Fiberglass, Little Mozart, Hleb and Adebayor smoking cigars in a pool with Brick Top or some other gangsters. You’ll think it’s a hot tub but you’ll be wrong. It’ll be Freddie Ljungberg making bubbles while sucking off some sheikh from the UAE. Keep it Cameldome.
Roy Maakay scored the fastest goal in Champions League history (11 seconds into the first half) and helped knock Real Madrid out on away goals. Capello’s fucked and rightly so.
Man U beat Lille 1-0 on a Henrik Larsson goal to go through to the next round while Kaka and AC Milan saved Ireland from a national crisis of conscience by seeing to it that Celtic won’t meet Liverpool in the quarterfinals.
In Tuesday’s action, Chelsea beat Porto 2-1 to go through on a Michael Ballack goal. Yeah we can’t believe ze German woke up either.
Roma knocked Lyon out with a 2-0 result. A fucking amazing goal by Mancini. Lyon better get used to disappointment with Gerard Houllier in the house. If they think they’re bummed now, wait until Emile Heskey shows up at their door. It’s no damn good when a player has a song which goes “If Heskey can play for England, so can I”.
Valencia ended Inter’s Champions League dream and my CL pool. Fuck you very much. The highlight of this round had to be the fight at the end of the match which was fruitier than a Father MC video (Check the guy on the left at 4:25 and 4:34 – The Deuce loves you).
Here it is in its glory.
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